Rob Light was on the phone with the NFL. They only had one question, how could they TOP Prince?
Pink Floyd is the biggest band in the world. But the question arises, who is number TWO?
Zeppelin used to be number one. But as teenagers aged, as they dug deeper into music, as they got stoned, they became enraptured with Pink Floyd. It was the dreaminess. The lack of obvious hits (except maybe for "Money".) And the UNAVAILABILITY! Supposedly Pink Floyd was NEVER gonna get back together. And the fact that they did so, only once, for a cause, only burnished their image.
If Pink Floyd ever goes out with the original members (sans Syd, of course), they can play stadiums for TWO YEARS, probably MORE!
But who else is in that league?
Well, even without Bonham, Led Zep can do a year's worth of stadiums, as long as they use Bonham the younger or Zak Starkey.
But the band young males want to see even more than Zeppelin contains all the original members, at least the ones from the second half of the band's career, the one containing, the one that started with, the best hard rock album ever.
Credit Mutt Lange, credit Bon Scott, who supposedly had such a hand in the songwriting before he died, but "Back In Black" is a masterpiece that sounds as fresh today as it did when it was released over twenty five years ago.
Yup, there are two potential openers. The ones that opened each side of the LP.
If they've got the balls, if they want to appear self-satisfied yet drive the attendees WILD, it's "Back In Black".
If they want to battle Prince for Super Bowl supremacy, it's "Hell's Bells". Yup, a lone spotlight, to the side of the stage, where Brett Favre, or John Elway or Joe Montana takes a giant hammer and rings out the note. Maybe all over the stadium lights pop up to find legendary football heroes ringing bells. And then, Angus lays into the riff, the drums start to pound, the bass starts to throb and the freight train starts to ROLL! The studio take has a one minute and twenty five second intro, make it EVEN LONGER!
"I'm a rolling thunder, pouring rain
I'm comin' on like a hurricane
White lightning's flashing across the sky
You're only young but you're gonna die
I won't take no prisoners, won't spare no lives
Nobody's putting up a fight
I got my fill, I'm gonna take you to hell
I'm gonna get you, Satan get you
Hell's Bells!
Yeah, Hell's Bells!
You got me ringing Hell's Bells!
My temperature's hot
Hell's Bells!"
They'd be falling over in the aisles. Heads would be exploding like on that SNL parody of Oprah, when she gave away the cars. There'd be a raw ecstasy heretofore unseen at a sporting event.
Oh, there IS an alternative, but not really, because Freddie's dead. Yes, if only Queen could do "We Will Rock You". God, it would do WONDERS to help eradicate homophobia!
And, if Gary Glitter could stay out of jail and do "Rock And Roll Part Two"...
But really, neither would eclipse the band from Australia. Because they contain all the passion, all the ANGER of football!
So what's the second number?
Oh, you know the riff...
And then the downbeat...
"Living easy, living free
Season ticket on a one-way ride
Asking nothing, leave me be
Taking everything in my stride
Don't need reason, don't need rhyme
Ain't nothing I would rather do
Going down, party time
My friends are gonna be there too
I'm on the highway to hell
On the highway to hell
Highway to hell
I'm on the highway to hell"
And then straight to the closer. The anthem.
As Angus hit those notes, you know... Everybody would positively LEVITATE!
Yup, he's got his schoolboy uniform on, with his bag over his shoulder. And he's jitterbugging, playing his cherry red Gibson.
And then Brian holds the mic to his mouth and SINGS!
Yes, they told us to come, but we were ALREADY THERE! Fuck, they're shaking us ALL NIGHT LONG!
I'm getting goosebumps just WRITING about it!
That's what's great about "Back In Black". It works if you're incredibly happy, or incredibly DEPRESSED! It removes you from the realm of everyday living, the music creates a bubble around you, PROTECTS YOU, makes everything okay!
AC/DC isn't on Top Forty radio. Their music is not played in the clubs alongside Justin's and Fitty's. There's no ink, no endless words on the Net. Everybody just KNOWS!
When not working, the band almost doesn't exist. They do no appearances, they do no press. Because they're ROCK STARS!
Rock stars don't go on the "Today Show", don't appear in "People", don't kiss the ass of the establishment. They're THEIR OWN ESTABLISHMENT!
And for this reason, maybe AC/DC WON'T do the Super Bowl.
But you've got to bet they'd make it their own, make it work.
No press conference, no media. No fancy stage set. No hokiness. Just the SOUND!
For those about to rock, we salute you.
Fall Out Boy can't carry the Super Bowl, and you know they never will.
Same deal with the Killers.
Love them all you want, but they're not the real deal.
Maybe Green Day, but didn't itty-bitty Billy Joe get BEATEN UP by the jocks? Isn't that why he became a punk? Punk's not mainstream.
But AC/DC is mainstream. Maybe it's just that it's OWN stream!
Fuck the second half of the game. Just let Angus and the boys play. Instead of closing with the cannons, instead of turning on the lights, they should play "Have A Drink On Me". Isn't THAT the spirit of the Super Bowl?
And while they're at it, before they leave the stage for good, how about a rendition of "It's A Long Way To The Top"?
"Ridin' down the highway
Goin' to a show
Stop in all the byways
Playin' rock 'n' roll
Gettin' robbed
Gettin' stoned
Gettin' beat up
Broken boned
Gettin' had
Gettin' took
I tell you folks_
It's harder than it looks__
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll_
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll_
If you think it's easy doin' one night stands_
Try playin' in a rock roll band_
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll"
Oh, it's a long way to the top if you wanna play in the Super Bowl.
But not as hard as making it to the top of rock and roll.
Nobody's watching. Chances are you've got few friends. Your parents hate the noise. You travel in a van with the same five assholes for YEARS!
There are no shortcuts. That's just for pussies. Creatures of the machine. The real acts did it their own way. Even the Beatles, think of all those years they paid their dues in Hamburg.
"If you wanna be a star of stage and screen
Look out it's rough and mean"
What's fucked up is the penumbra has become larger than the music. How you look, who you hang out with, those are the hooks, not the music. The music is disposable, not MADE to be played MONTHS later, never mind at a sporting event deep into your career.
Don't complain about old farts doing this show. They're the only ones who can carry it. Just ask the kids. THEY'RE not complaining. They WANT to see these legends.
They want to see AC/DC.
The only reason you don't know is it hasn't been quantified, there's no chart of desire.
But everybody's got these songs in their iTunes libraries. They want to feel the pulse, they want to feel the energy, they want to be taken away, they want the aural orgasm.
There's only one choice for next year's Super Bowl. The band that's supposedly going to tour right thereafter. The one that has laid fallow building desire. And it's all about desire.
Yes, it's no contest. We want AC/DC!!!
(And if a zillion bagpipers appear in the stadium during "It's A Long Way To The Top", I won't have a problem!!)
Subscribe to Feed
