1. XM RADIO
Yes, even before a COMPUTER!
You know how you turn on the TV as soon as you enter a hotel room? You know how late at night, alone, the television plays the role of COMPANION? Well, XM is TV on STEROIDS!
TV isn't personal. It's not made for you. It's made for a generic SOMEONE!
Or maybe it's just the difference between filmed and recorded entertainment. Between movies and music. Movies demand your entire attention. Music sets your mind FREE!
If you've got music, you need NOTHING ELSE! Oh, it would be great to have another PERSON there, but you can get along for quite a while WITHOUT someone if you've got MUSIC!
Now you tell me you've got your CDs. Your MP3s.
But think about those. They weren't delivered to you by DIVINE INTERVENTION! No, you read about the acts. Heard about them. Saw them on TV.
Well, hate to tell you, "Rolling Stone" is a joke. "Mojo"'s pretty good, but it only comes out once a month and it focuses on OLD stuff. As for "Blender" and its ilk...the ATTITUDE is more important than the MUSIC!
As for MTV...hell, most of the acts worth hearing don't even MAKE videos, never mind MTV playing them. Furthermore, once again, you don't want to CONCENTRATE on one thing, on a screen, you want INFINITE POSSIBILITIES! You want your mind to drift into places you didn't even know EXISTED!
As for terrestrial radio... Come on. You mean you're really listening to THAT? With its twenty minutes of commercials per hour and researched ad infinitum tight playlists? I mean TALK is great on terrestrial radio, but music is a VAST WASTELAND!
So, the question is, how are you going to get TURNED ON to music?
Through XM.
You can visit the old days at the Decades channels.
Get a laugh on XM 150, the COMEDY channel, the MOST POPULAR CHANNEL ON THE SERVICE!
Or you can roll your way through the DOZENS of music channels.
You know what I heard yesterday? Alison Moyet's LOVE RESURRECTION! When was the last time you heard THAT? Or Siouxie's SPELLBOUND! Or even R.E.M.'s "I Am Superman".
And for the first time ever, I heard the Replacements' "Androgynous". Which is helping show me, along with the track I heard on the Loft, that what they say about that band is TRUE!
I heard all of the foregoing on Fred, the CLASSIC alternative station.
And there's Ethel, the MODERN alternative station.
And LUCY, the harder-edged alternative and punk station.
And on Deeptracks today not only did I hear Quicksilver's "Fresh Air" ("take another HIT of sweet California sunshine") but this track by Aztec Two-Step about Dean Moriarty. Hell, I know that band's NAME, but I never heard any of their MATERIAL!
RUN to Best Buy. Get XM. It's about soul SALVATION!!!
2. COMPUTER
It's about connection and INFORMATION!
You can HEAR about things. EXPLORE things you've heard about.
Just about every act extant offers at least a SAMPLE of their music online.
As to whether you should buy a PC or a Mac...
FIRST AND FOREMOST, don't believe the common wisdom. About software being unavailable for the Mac. EVERYTHING you want to use is made for the Mac.
Except for occasional music software...
If you're a P2P denizen, you might want a PC. Not all P2P programs work on the Mac.
KaZaA does not work on a Mac.
Yet KaZaA is HISTORY! And, you can run KaZaA Lite in Virtual PC, a $150 program.
But, so many of the NEW programs DO work for both Mac and PC. Like BitTorrent, today's standard.
And there's Poisoned, a Mac program which searches KaZaA. (Although not as well as the developers say it does.)
And then there's Acquisition. Which is Gnutella, which is inherently lame compared to FastTrack, the underlying software for KaZaA, but it's gotten MUCH BETTER! And, stunningly, it's easier to find rarities on Acquisition these days than KaZaA...
Bottom line, unless you're the trader of all time, P2P is not a big issue.
However, the lack of a version of Rhapsody for the Mac is...
But that lack is outweighed by the Mac EXPERIENCE!
Yes, you know your iPod and the iTunes software that loads it. You know how those work seamlessly? THAT'S the Mac experience.
Now Windows XP does not crash all the time like previous versions. But when you've got a problem, you're fucked. Help is written in a language incomprehensible by anyone other than geeks. And even your best friends who say they're experts will shrug their shoulders when you ask them questions.
Do yourself a favor. Don't buy a PC. Buy a Mac.
EVERYTHING'S easier on a Mac. Digital photography, making movies, hell, the Web browser, Safari, AUTOMATICALLY blocks pop-ups!!!
As for the scuttlebutt that Macs cost more...BULLSHIT!
All computers might LOOK the same, but they don't FUNCTION the same. That $500 Dell LOOKS spiffy, but it's SO underpowered it's a LAUGH! Everything's on the same bus, the machine is INHERENTLY crippled. No, a full-featured PC, the one you WANT, costs as much as a Mac. Macs come with EVERYTHING you need. Except enough RAM. To keep the price down, they skimp on the RAM. Boost yours to AT LEAST 512k. Which will cost under $100 additional. So you can get FULL functionality out of your machine.
It's not about what everybody else is using (PC).
It's not about RELIGION (Mac).
It's about what WORKS! And anybody who tells you a PC works as well as a Mac is lying, or just hasn't used a Mac.
I COULD tell you to just go to your local Apple Store, but the PC zealots would say that's unfair. The Apple Store is like the record store of yore on LSD! You'll walk out convinced Apple is the most happening company in the WORLD, and lighter a few thousand bucks...
3. GOOD COMPUTER SPEAKERS
A.
Don't believe the hype. MP3s sound MIGHTY FINE! If you only bought decent speakers, you'd KNOW THIS!
Now you remember from the seventies that a key element of sound reproduction is POWER!!!
Even if you've got good cones, good crossovers, the final product will sound like shit unless you've got a TON of power.
Those speakers that come with your computer. THROW THEM AWAY! They're WORTHLESS! I don't care how cute they look.
First of all, you need a three piece system. For music requires BOTTOM, and those little pieces of shit can't reproduce it.
Now if you want to buy the Harmon Kardon SoundSticks, I'm down with that. They do look cool, and sound decent. But, hate to tell you this, they're underpowered.
Worse are those JBL speakers that look like those ghosts in PacMan.
BOTH of these solutions are LIGHT YEARS better than out of the box speakers. But still, they're UNDERPOWERED!
Let's see. That three piece Dell system they try to convince you to buy...it's got 30 watts of power COMBINED! (The A425.)
The JBL Creature, the aforementioned ghost in PacMan? 40 watts total. 8 watts per satellite. And the subwoofer has 24 watts. Both rated at 10% distortion. Which is HORRIFIC!
The Harmon Kardon SoundSticks...10 watts per satellite, 20 for the subwoofer, 40 total.
The Cambridge SoundWorks MicroWorks II? EIGHTY WATTS!!! 20 per satellite, 40 for the subwoofer. TRUST ME, this is NIGHT AND DAY when you're listening.
Meanwhile, the Cambridge SoundWorks MicroWorks II aren't even the MOST EXPENSIVE!!
The Dells are a bit over fifty bucks. Fuck them. I've heard them at people's houses. THEY SUCK!
The Creature's $100.
The SoundSticks are $200.
And the Cambridge SoundWorks MicroWorks II are $150.
Come off it. Don't be such a cheap bastard. Even your TURNTABLE didn't cost $150 back in the seventies. SPEND THE MONEY!!!
Now they've recently upgraded the Cambridge SoundWorks MicroWorks, to the MicroWorks II. I've got the original model, which has a tad less power. But I have never heard any distortion, these things SING! And I can turn them up BEYOND any threshold I require, and I can BARELY HEAR!!!
Get out your credit card. Order them now:
http://www.cambridgesoundworks.com/store/ category.cgi?category=mul_speakers&item=c1mic2ti
Or, dial 1-800-FOR-HIFI.
I get no kickback from the company WHATSOEVER! Just the satisfaction of you FINALLY understanding what computer music is all about.
B.
In the alternative, you can purchase an Apple AirPort Express, which will allow you to play the music on your computer through your regular stereo. For $129. Available next month. Go to apple.com for details. BUT, unless you're a fanatic, like me, the Cambridge speakers will probably sound BETTER than your home stereo.
And, if you've got a good home stereo, STILL buy the Cambridge speakers. So you can hear every sound from your computer, including Web streams, IN HIGH FIDELITY!!!
4. HIGH SPEED CONNECTION
If you're not going to get a high speed connection, DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO BUY THE COMPUTER!
Yes, they don't want to tell you this, for fear of scaring you off, but today's computers are DESIGNED for high speed connections. All those Windows updates, all those virus definitions you need to protect your computer...how do you think you GET THEM!!! Your computer logs in to a remote server, checks for updates and then downloads them. If you were to do all this at dialup speeds, you'd be FUCKED! Which is why most people with dialups ARE fucked. They're functioning with old software, they're one step away from DISASTER!
WHATEVER system you buy, KEEP IT UPDATED! They issue updates for a REASON! For your SECURITY! The Apple Mac DEFAULT is to go looking for updates. Set it up as the default in Windows. The Mac comes with a built-in FIREWALL, download the free version of Zone Alarm if you're on a PC. And, if on a PC, use VIRUS software. (Don't tell anybody, but you don't need it for the Mac. There's no such thing as a Mac OS X virus. Never ever. Not only because fewer people use Macs, but because it's based on a more stable SYSTEM, Unix, which has been around for DECADES and is much more difficult to crack. BUT, there have been THEORETICAL openings for hackers in the Mac system recently, which were patched by updated software, which you downloaded to your computer, which is why you must have a HIGH SPEED CONNECTION!!! For what takes minutes to download at high speed takes HOURS at dialup.)
As for DSL vs. cable...
They've come a long way in the DSL world. And they're now trying to make inroads by charging less. But buy CABLE! It's much less troublesome. Your kid can install it. Even YOU can install it.
5. iTUNES
Fuck the store, you want the SOFTWARE!!!
When you insert a CD, it automatically goes to a server and gets the titles/timings/etc. Apple pays a license fee for this, it's included, not all other software jukeboxes include this (and this is also why you need a high speed connection, so you can get this stuff INSTANTLY!)
You can rip in iTunes. In a bunch of formats. The default is AAC, but I'd say to use MP3 at 160 (set it in the Preferences). For MP3 is still the STANDARD!!
I could go on and on about the features of iTunes, but just know it's intuitive, it's the easiest to use. Furthermore, it's FREE!
Just go to apple.com and download it.
And EXPLORE!
Listen to the radio stations (also requiring a high speed connection).
Rip a CD.
Turn on the light show.
Make a playlist.
FUCK AROUND! You can't break anything. Don't be scared of your computer. This is the MAC world, don't you remember? The computer is your FRIEND, not some monster that's going to erupt and fuck with you. And yes, iTunes works with both Mac AND PC.
Now, when you've done all the foregoing, check out the iTunes Music Store, You just click on the bar in the left-hand column. (Once again, without a high speed connection, you're fucked.) Look at the iMix playlists, they're fascinating! Watch some videos. Read the charts. But DON'T buy any music. Unless you've got to hear it RIGHT NOW, or it's an exclusive.
Don't blame Steve Jobs, blame the record companies. Sale of copy-protected individual tracks for ninety nine cents is a SIDESHOW! The promise of online music is more people having access to more music for a low price. The iTunes Music Store IS NOT THIS! The iTunes Music Store is conveniently selling you a crippled file for the same aliquot price as the physical CD, sans packaging. What a scam, sham, rip-off.
6. DOWNLOAD P2P SOFTWARE
FORGET what the RIAA is saying. It's not about raw theft, it's about the THRILL. Of hearing MORE music by your favorite acts. RARITIES!
Just plug in your favorite act's name, plus "live".
Plug in "MTV". Plug in the call letters of your favorite radio station.
You'll be STUNNED what comes up.
Hell, I was looking for Springsteen's "Kitty's Back" (which I'd heard on XM). In Acquisition I found a QuickTime movie of the band on Conan performing the song.
Sitting in front of my computer, I was RIVETED!
Sure, every member of the E Street Band was hitting the note, but it was the HORN SECTION, the guys who are on Conan every night, the ones who used to play with Southside Johnny, who put it over the top. Wow, this was BETTER than "The Rising" tour. The ONLY weak point was Bruce's vocal.
THIS is what you get with P2P (which is worthless without a high speed connection). If you're a fan, P2P is MECCA! Don't EVER tell me a fucking THING about file-trading until you've done it yourself. Hell, I thought Napster should have been closed down until I USED IT!!!
As for the particular software to employ... Go to zeropaid.com. Read the reviews, download.
It's hard to get KaZaA Lite anymore. KaZaA threatened them too much. But regular KaZaA has got WAY too much spyware and ads. Get KaZaA Lite from a friend, or use another P2P service to download it.
But try Bit Torrent.
And, if you're on a Mac, just go to versiontracker.com and search on "acquisition" and download it. Or try Poisoned.
7. iPOD
I guess the word is out on this one. But, I just want to tell you that iPod IS NOT a generic word. It's specific to machines made by Apple. All the competitors are WORTHLESS!! JUNK!!!
Forget how they LOOK, it's all about the USABILITY! About the SOFTWARE!
The iPod and iTunes work SEAMLESSLY! Just plug your iPod into your computer and VOILA!, all the music in your iTunes library is suddenly on your iPod.
It doesn't happen this way with ANY other machine.
The iPod MIGHT be the most expensive, but it's the coolest looking with the most functionality. A Lamborghini at an affordable price.
The ubiquitous Dell? With asshole Michael Dell talking like he's a fucking visionary? Have you even SEEN anybody with a Dell Jukebox? Michael Dell IS a genius. Just in manufacturing, not in DESIGN! He knows how to SELL shit, just not how to INVENT IT!
As for the competitors... Do I really have to go through this?
NONE of the software's any good. Both on the computer end and the hand-held end. Flash memory players don't hold enough music. NONE of them are compatible with the iTunes software.
Apple didn't get into its dominant market position by being a bully, like Microsoft, it did so by making BETTER PRODUCTS!
If the record business put a FRACTION of the insight into solving ITS problems that Steve Jobs put into the iPod, iTunes and the iTunes Music Store, the companies would be ROLLING IN DOUGH!
Alas, Andy Lack is not a visionary. Certainly not a genius. There are far too few visionaries and geniuses in the music business. We froze the next generation out. By not allowing them in. If in, not giving them any power, not allowing them to move up the food chain. By giving all the money to senior executives. By functioning like the fucking MAFIA!!!! In Silicon Valley, it's about COOL, BREAKTHROUGH STUFF! In the music business, it's about MUSCLE! How can a whole INDUSTRY be so out of synch with society? THIS is why the majors are in such turmoil. THIS is why they're doomed.
8. RHAPSODY
If you don't want to be in the music business, you can ignore what I've said above. Hell, you're just a dilettante.
But if you're a PROFESSIONAL, you must have ALL OF THE ABOVE!
Oh, NO WHINING! I don't want to hear about your budget. Eat hot dogs. Don't go to the movies. You must have PRIORITIES!
And for those of you with money, but no time...be prepared to look for work in a new business, for soon there's not going to be any room left for you in THIS one.
But even if you've got XM, a computer, good computer speakers, a high speed connection, iTunes, P2P software, and an iPod, it would be great to have an EDGE!
The edge in the music business is RHAPSODY!
I could go on for days about what's wrong with Rhapsody. The horrible interface (hell, I STILL can't figure out how to make a playlist - which is INSTINCTIVE in iTunes), the lack of product, THE LACK OF PORTABILITY!
But I'm gonna tell you right now... Rhapsody is better than ANY record store. Hell, maybe there's some indie store somewhere with this inventory, but you can't HEAR IT ALL, not for TEN BUCKS A MONTH!
You used to have to spend a fortune, or call friends to get the CDs. To HEAR the music. Now, you read about something and INSTANTLY you can hear it on Rhapsody. It puts you IN TUNE!
My friend Charlton is a producer. Now when people call him up with that arcane music speak, he FOLLOWS ALONG ON RHAPSODY! Okay, it's got a Little Feat feel with Bob Dylan lyrics sung in a Van Morrison style. That music's all available INSTANTLY on Rhapsody!
Now that stuff's obvious. But all that stuff that's new, that you read about, that you've never heard, IT'S THERE TOO! Sure, there might not be any Led Zeppelin, but seemingly EVERY major label new release is on the service. Available as soon as it hits retail, if not sooner.
To tell you the truth, now that I've got Rhapsody, I don't need to own shit as much.
Well, let me just say it's not easy to find the OBSCURE stuff on P2P services anymore. But, over fifty percent of that obscure stuff is on Rhapsody.
Something like Rhapsody is the future. If they could only ADVERTISE IT, it would TAKE OFF!
But RealNetworks ain't got the bread of Apple, nor the commitment.
Hell, if Apple offered a Rhapsody-like service TOMORROW, I'd pay for it. And shit, I don't even PAY for Rhapsody. It's worth ten bucks a month just to have a usable INTERFACE!
Rhapsody is part of the promise. All the music available at one low price per month.
The fact that it's LITERALLY not all the music, and you can't take it away from your computer, pisses me off. But you're a pro, it's a tool. A tool you'll like and need.
CONCLUSION
Follow the above easy steps and you'll be more advanced than the people RUNNING the music business. The major labels at least.
Yes, they babble, they sue, but they're UNFAMILIAR!
Knowledge is power. I've given you the keys to knowledge. It's up to YOU to make something of them.
Just know it's a wild frontier out there. With commitment and hard work you can triumph.
Those mafioso days of the record business...they're numbered. They depend on control of distribution and exposure. Online, distribution is flat, anybody can play. Terrestrial radio exposes almost nothing. You wonder why the major labels are fighting so hard? THEY'VE GOT SO MUCH TO LOOSE!!!












