Bush Vs. Kerry: The CD

by John Hagelston

Given that this is one of the most fiercely contested elections of recent memory, it's no wonder that enterprising citizens have crawled out of the woodwork with all manner of products related to Bush Vs. Kerry: the international battle of the century. Naturally, CDs are among the consumer goods at stake in this electoral tug-of-war. Presented for your consideration are two of these; while we hope our freely exercised opinions prove informative, ultimately, you will be the judge and jury!

The Electras ('60s Garage Rock Band Reissue)

Beyond the world of prep-rock aficionados, there would be little demand in the market for a reissue of The Electras' 1962 privately pressed album were it not for the fact that bassist John Kerry has gone on to become Democratic Party Presidential Candidate John Kerry. The presence of the Massachusetts senator is prominently noted on the front and back of the package (in fact the drawing of the band that graced the original album cover has been replaced with a photo of the group in which Kerry's Herman Munster-like frame is unmistakable). The liner notes are a rather skimpy "Where Are They Now?" look at the six members; among the other career paths these boys went on to pursue are architecture, real estate management, and brewing up maple syrup.

But what of the music? Barring versions of "Summertime Blues" and the Lee Dorsey hit "Ya Ya," the 13 tracks here are all early beat/surf-type instros. The lone original is the creatively named "Electra." Musical proficiency usually rises to the level of adequacy, and the guys manage to produce a pretty good variety of tempos and moods given the instrumental palette (rhythm and lead guitar, bass, drums, piano, and, of course, maracas). The mix and song selection highlights the (somewhat shaky) guitar, percussion, and piano (which here has a weird tinny timbre that at times sounds more like an organ). The man who would be president plucks out a steady beat when he is heard, which is rarely. Surprisingly good sound for an obscure record of this vintage -- these old garage LPs often need to be mastered from scratchy originals, but this sounds very clean (these were kids of relative privilege, increasing the chance that mom & dad would still be in possession of such childhood mementos as master tapes).

Bushspeak: The Curious Wit & Wisdom Of George W. Bush

In contrast to the Electras CD, which is virtually all instrumental, this new Bush CD (from our old friends at Shout! Factory) is virtually all spoken. Or "misspoken" as the packaging would have it. Actually, it's set up more as a book on tape, with a foreword, five chapters (devoted to terrorism, education, environment, economy, and government themes), and a final afterword -- which repeats the contents of the previous five chapters sans patriotic musical backing. Even so, it's rather brief, coming in at just over 18 minutes. With such classics as "Peeance Freeance" and "Nuclear" nowhere to be heard, the listener may feel a bit shortchanged. At least the documentation is thorough; all quotes are sourced and dated (though there is no way to tell whether any of these clips - most well under 30 seconds -- would make more sense in their original context).

Which is not to say that there aren't gems scattered liberally throughout this collection. Some of them are simple mispronunciations and, as the liner notes correctly point out, "Who among us has not said 'farther' when we should have said 'further,' or 'neither' when 'either' was correct." So when Dubya starts rattling off lists of Arabic names or hazardous chemicals, the result is little surprise. More amusing are the "headscratchers" -- statements that require some thought, as when our 43rd President says he is arranging for natural gas shipments from Mexico to minimize our dependence on foreign energy. In a similar vein are the odd image juxtapositions, like Osama Bin Laden experiencing the joy of Hanukkah, and human beings and fish coexisting peacefully. But surely the most memorable quips included in Bushspeak are the mixed metaphors and snarled similes: "Where wings take dream," "You're working hard to put food on your family," "We ought to make the pie higher." Who needs a national poet laureate when the Oval Office gives us this?

($6.98 CD : click here to buy now )

So how do the candidates stack up? Here's our handy voter guide:

Distinctive melodies:	Bush	Kerry X
Thought-provoking lyrics:	Bush X	Kerry
Mastering:	Bush	Kerry X
Packaging:	Bush X	Kerry

Likely to produce a follow-up album: Too close to call

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