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The Lefsetz Letter

Sheryl Crow Dell Commercial

by Bob Lefsetz

This is why I don't watch television. It's evidence of a culture so into fame and bucks that my values of honesty and integrity appear to be worthless chump change.

Who do we blame for this? Sheryl, Jimmy or Scooter?

Can't be Scooter. He's just not that sharp. Can't imagine Scooter even getting Michael Dell on the telephone. Hell, he'd have to camp out in front of the building for a month just to get an audience.

No, this has the stamp of Jimmy Iovine all over it. And you know Sheryl approved it. There's NOTHING this woman will say no to. Not a gig, not an endorsement, she's more addicted to the public eye than the Simpson girls. To think that she was once a credible artist is a head-spinner. How did she get so fucking WARPED?

Dell is not cool. Not in any way. Dell is about as cool as Hyundai. A rock bottom price for something functional. There's no design innovation, just boring boxes. There's no technical innovation, god they piggyback on Microsoft, the inept lumbering giant that ultimately makes the computers Dell purveys unusable because of adware, viruses and spyware. God, if Bin Laden bought time on network TV would Sheryl Crow agree to appear in HIS commercials? Think of it. We're HUMANIZING the Taliban. My participation illustrates they've got a heart. We have to play along with the enemy instead of constantly labeling him.

I won't exactly say Dell is the enemy, but the company is as sexy as a urinal. Give U2 props, at least the iPod is cool. Even though they're desperate and counseled by Jimmy Iovine too. But DELL??

What exactly are you saying here Sheryl, how exactly are we supposed to interpret this appearance? I'm over forty and nobody will play my music so I have to resort to this cheap shot? God, the paradigm was established by Sting, but until they cheapened the brand with those lame Jaguar X-types that are really Fords Jaguar was COOL! Who wouldn't want to own a Jaguar? God, did that company ever run an ad featuring a doofus saying "Dude, you're getting a JAGUAR??"

I'm not a big fan of "Tuesday Night Music Club" but I thought "The Globe Sessions" was one of the best albums of the year. And as recently as 2000, she was playing the heartfelt "Safe and Sound".

But heartfelt works no more. Sheryl had to get a facelift, to soften her image, she can't be a blues mama like Bonnie Raitt. She resorted to cutting ditties like "Soak Up The Sun" instead of meaningful music. Is that how far we've come? That it's ONLY about fame? ONLY about being in the public eye? ONLY about money?

I'm close enough to know that money and fame don't make a life. That being in the public eye doesn't mean you're happy, not that they're mutually exclusive, then again, pound for pound, I've found celebrities to be LESS happy than the hoi polloi.

That's what Sheryl Crow has become. A celebrity. She USED to be a musician. But that wasn't good enough for her.

How in the hell did a music teacher from Missouri end up being a poster girl for American consumerism? Is Sheryl really starring in a real life "What Makes Sammy Run"?

As for Jimmy Iovine...

We're supposed to revere you because you can broker a deal like this? Because you can make money? God, maybe like Chuck Colson you should see the error of your ways and dedicate your life to religion, to HELPING people.

That's what's wrong with America. Adults playing a boys game. Participating in a competition wherein he who dies with the most toys win. Immaturity on parade.

This business was built on artists exhibiting honest values. The PUBLIC resonating with honest values.

A person watching this Sheryl Crow ad immediately thinks of the "W" word. That she did it for the money and the exposure.

When is the entertainment business going to wake up and realize the audience is SOPHISTICATED? That it knows the GAME?

Meanwhile, the Media PC Sheryl is hawking... An overpriced, useless piece of shit. About as significant in the marketplace as Microsoft Plays For Sure subscription MP3 players.

But that doesn't matter.

What only matters is that Sheryl Crow remain famous. And RICH!

Furthermore, instead of focusing on marketing opportunities, she should have written a better song. That's what we're selling, music, right?

Bob Lefsetz, Santa Monica-based industry legend, is the author of the e-mail newsletter, "The Lefsetz Letter". Famous for being beholden to no one, and speaking the truth, Lefsetz addresses the issues that are at the core of the music business: downloading, copy protection, pricing and the music itself. His intense brilliance captivates readers from Steven Tyler to Rick Nielsen to Bryan Adams to Quincy Jones to EVERYBODY who's in the music business. Never boring, always entertaining, Mr. Lefsetz's insights are fueled by his stint as an entertainment business attorney, majordomo of Sanctuary Music's American division and consultancies to major labels.

While Rhino may occasionally disagree with some of Bob's opinions, we certainly agree with his right to state them. At the bottom of each column we give you, the reader, the opportunity to respond and we encourage you to do so. We will post select comments.


LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.

A word about submissions: We post what you give us, so please don't include your email address or any personal info. Your comments reach Rhino, not necessarily the writer, so don't expect a reply from them (or us, see our help section for contact info). We gather and post your submissions in batches, so do expect a short delay. And don't get bent if we edit your comments. We probably won't, but we reserve that right.


Comments:

Short, succinct, and sadly accurate.
Composing music, playing instruments, singing your heart out..thats all the public ever wanted. Endorsements is just a quick easy buck..but I guess thats where its all heading.

This is not truth, it's an opinion, and a sophomoric one at that. Typical showbizz wannabe. This has nothing to do with Sheryl but everything to do with Lefsetz.

I have to add one more thing.
Dell stinks !! Dell Computers has the single most customer complaints about them of any company in the world. !!

I think Mr. Lefsetz needs to chill out and maybe take the ego down a notch or three. By the way, how many songs have you written, Mr. Industry Legend?

I love her too much to be amused…After all - no-one will ever do EVERYTHING I EXPECT. If Sheryl needs to be defended…

Dude... to insult the childishness and slefishness that drives the system is one thing, but to insult Mrs Crow because she in on an add that is unhip, seems like your just another participant in the norm inforcing doldrums that we all suffer from. If you want to talk about how the system sucks, then compain away, but don't use complaints about the how money corrupts everything and then say that it lacks style. The Music business was not built on "artists exhibiting honest values" it was built on style, and part of that is Money. You just seem so pissed over nothing. God what about Mercedes adds? does the fact that they are mercedes make it ok for them to deface the dead? pick your battles with more care, and don't cloud personal tastes with remarks about other peoples character.

SHE NEEDS MONEY 4 A WEDDING DRESS

Bob: "Soak Up The Sun" IS meaningful in the context of summertime radio, great hook! That's all that really counts there, otherwise....

I would just like to know if the Dell commercial showing the lap top is using The 'Thirteenth Floor Elevators' music in the new commercial Email me please!: gretchen_smith777@yahoo.com

Yeah?.... So, is that the Thirteeth Floor Elevators in the Dell commercial?

youre an idiot...you are obviously an APPLE kiss ass. Truth is I love apple too, but Dell is not a bad company at all..they make good computers that work. What else do you want? It always amazes me when people complain about spyware and Windows problems. I never have them! Maybe its because I know what im doing. Most problems can be blamed on operator error. Macs crash about as often as PCs do. I use them both regularly. Viruses are not a problem on the mac simply because no one writes them for the mac. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that hardly anyone uses macs and it would be a waste of time. I dunno..you are just misinformed on everything. You over generalize and you are a putz. Oh and i reached this article while searching for Dell. I have no clue who you are...It looks like no one else does either.

Yes, it's the Thirteenth Floor Elevators...You're gonna Miss me...1st LP




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